I got off early on a Friday, so I went to the county library to get a book for the weekend, and while I was there I thought that I might check in with Patty Van Dyke to see what they were planning for that week's "Slut Night" (or as I like to think of it, "Librarians Gone Wild!"). The front desk librarian told me Patty was getting things ready for the evening in one of the lower conference rooms and that I could find her there. I went downstairs, and when I was just outside the conference room door, I could hear moaning and a rhythmic slapping sound. I opened the door, and there I found Patty in a somewhat familiar circumstance. Normally inanimate objects had become perilously animated, and Patty was being stripped, bound, beaten, and...well, I just couldn't help myself.
"Patty, I don't think that's how you're supposed to ride that thing."
"RAOULSTER!!" Patty furiously exclaimed, but then, realizing she needed my help, her voice softened, "would you PLEASE help me?"
Apparently, she'd found some old books on witchcraft, and one had a spell that she wished to cast upon her fellow librarians for the evening--one that would let them experience their uninhibited sides. The only problem was that Patty had cast the spell inwardly, and, while not meaning to, the scene revealed to me that many of the things she experiences here in Cracker County are not entirely unwanted!
The book was open on the room's table, and I tried to find in its ancient script the part that ends the spell. "Please hurry, Raoulster..oooh!...Please! I don't have much dress left--when those scissors finish with that, they'll start cutting my hair next!" I found a promising phrase, spoke it, and the scissors fell lifelessly to the floor. Still, the strap continued to blister Patty's exposed bottom, so I searched for the phrase that would stop that. After erronously speaking one that intensified her beating, I finally found the right phrase, and the strap fell harmlessly to the floor. However, Patty continued her "ride" on her broom, and the phrase to stop that was much harder to say--so hard, that each of my failures launched Patty into more and more acrobatic "flying manoevers".
"Oooo! Raoulster! Pleeeease!!" I was trying to keep my snickering to myself as Patty's distress became more and more pointed, but finally, I managed to utter the right phrase, the broom extracted itself from Patty, and, like the scissors and the strap, it too fell harmlessly to the floor. I started to look for the phrasing that would untie Patty, but she asked me not to. "I think the girls and I might enjoy this. It's quite a good tie, and if the girls use their imagination, I'll enjoy it too!!" I picked up the scissors and broom, but Patty asked me to leave the strap since she does appreciate discipline from the right hand. Her evening plans now set, I took leave of her, and a last glance saw her squirming contentedly in her bondage.
The scissors I took back to the front desk, but I left the broom next to the conference room door...with a note suggesting a "flight plan" for it and Patty.
